FLASH: 60 billion emails a day! Have you ever wanted to…

April 26, 2006 at 4:09 am Leave a comment

ust for laughs…

Have you ever been waiting for a important email and all of a sudden something goes pop! or buzz! Or you’ve got mail! on your computer’s speakers and you rush to it to find only an email on penile enlargement in your in-box?

Have you ever gotten the urge to reply? I asked around; quite a few people it seems do.

“The nerve of them! It’s not small… you scream and want to run somewhere and take a picture and zip it back to the send to be able to say – hey you- pssst yeah you look – malaki ito! (it’s large!) “

a un-named fellow journalist told me.

Another more confident chat room fellow had a more confident stand.

“Why not send them a nasty email that asks them why? Have you got problems there “little guy”?

But my reaction takes another path. My reply would be; “Sorry but have you got a product for reduction of size that’s my problem. Ahem,” said in a very – very deep voice. (Ah-hem!)

While another perhaps a ‘little’ guilty adds; “I hate those Junk mail files and feel dirty like someone put you on that list. It’s like –Aha! That men’s room attendant who peeked! But it was the air-conditioning! It was so cold that day!” my news anchor pal wines in a little voice.

I can’t for the life of me get over having to go through an e-mail in box and feel like a pervert – till I was asked by my mom to clean up her mail box she rarely uses except at Christmas time and Holidays to send out E-cards.

Then I looked at the pile of all the stuff in there. – “my goodness – walang patawad ang hayop na walang hiya nito pati Nanay ko pinadalahan!” (this person has no shame; even my mother got his emails!)

It makes one think of the entire industry that is pushing stuff like this online and how many of these products flow freely around the world. Imagine for the two billion or more Internet users at last count what kind of consumer demand there is for the product.

Who knows what company is out there doing this kind of thing or send out this kind of product; perhaps its one old man or two chained to some desk in India and being told ; flood the world… flood the world by some evil task master. Who sends all these enlargement things out? I mean I know you can trace the IP address of an email and look up the trace route right down to the windows registry number.

In my Journalistic gut feelings of all gut feelings – Could it all be traced to small town in Oregon? A small community of geeks and the Geek of them all behind this effort to make things large anf hard.

What if it is … Him,

Windows user 0001 who has service pack twenty seven and a half installed.

As well as all the upgrades It’s easy to see as to why in my thinking; it must be him.

How? After all his fascination with the mater of penile problems, how do I know this?

Well after all he did name his company Micro-Soft.

This is the nice thing about a blog in a real world of journalism where decorum’s rules of polite behavior prevent me from ever doing something like this on air or in print out of self respect in a blog you can get away with it. Unless I worked for Comedy Central well I did in a way at one time – although we called something else at the time and thought it was real news.

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Entry filed under: News and politics, Rants, Raves, Whathaveyou..., Views.

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