I know sometimes my posts here take eclectic paths…this one is personal. Over the last week and a half my world is coming to pieces as I try and cope with a person I loved first before anyone else in the world being sick and gravely so at that.
My mom is not famous nor hugely popular outside of her circle of friends. She raised three kids – my eldest sister Gerry Cohen, a legal secretary in San Francisco, California my brother George Jr. a computer tech in Austin, Texas. Myself – I am the journalist-producer whom she lives with – she has seven Grandchildren.
She is a meztiza of Filipino-German and Russian stock raised in Basilan and born of Zamboanga she used to tell us of her wartime childhood and dancing like Shirely temple to distract Japanese Soldiers while her older Aunts hid a radio from visiting Japanese soldiers searching for the bamboo grapevine. She is proudly Filipino – even if she likes to speak more in Chavacano or English than Tagalog inspired Pilipino.
She never taight us to view anyone as black, white, or brown saying all people are the same – she never also allowed us to judge a person as pretty or ugly – saying all beauty came from within.
She has had a colorful life – from being the wife of a Political Analyst who dined with Presidents and life of that crowd. Living a good life for many years until politics took a turn for the worst and she lost almost everything. She moved along with our family where ever was needed. Living across the Pacific – but always saving up to come ‘home’ to Manila or Palawan.
She had ended up almost as a politcal exile because of in part her husbands work and her own views.
While living on Guam – she taught me to swim and snorkel, brought us kids everywhere she went – never sought a career or a path of life she could have easily taken on her own.
She made wise investments in real estate made a few bad investments elsewhere in people and things. Perhaps in me – too.
She stood tall versus bullies – teaching me to do the same. Always taught me to stand up and speak up when things did not seem right.
She fought a battle to save mangroves along her small bayside lot in palawan – even as people closest to her chose to ignore things like that. Because many owed favors to the people destroying the trees to make a huge fishpond. She battled and won eventually working through an NGO- even though the fishpond is still there and the owners are ‘popular’ with the political crowd of Palawan.
She did all she could to help others even if it meant going without things she needed. She worked tirelessly to be with people who needed her and never failed to do favors for those who later on – even now as she is sick won’t even answer her pleas for medical help – even if she at times risked life and limb to help those she could – she does nothave any grudges.
She is now in pain, crying out trying to wear a brave face as she bears the pain of 73 years of life and also her own ailments – she hid for months because she did not want to bother anyone. Shes lost much of her hearing, her vision, but not her sense of humor – or will to fight.
Like any child we all loved our mothers first – we cared for them more than anyone and so did they return the same to us as kids. I can not understand sometimes why people in popular media make fun of those of us who care for our parents. Those who seem to want make families move as far apart perhaps seek to do so they can more easily control-society for whatever reason they may have to make families less in touch and more easily detached.
Anyhow, try as a might to cope with everything that comes with this part of life of trying to care for someone who did the same for me as a child I know it is all part of the cycle and circle of life we all go through.
I know this blog of mine seems like such a hodgepodge of things I often write about or do stories on or care about so tonight as a clear up another nose bleed and hold a hand to ease some pain I say thank you God for bringing me the most wonderful woman in the world in my eyes to be my mom.
I also ask whoever reads this for a prayer – a chance to pray also for all other Moms and Dads too who have raised families lived lives and are not well tonight where they may be – I saw this prayer on-line and am asking you to read it through.
Miracles do happen – I hope and pray and know if it is Gods will my mom will pull through this. please read this short prayer too…
I Cannot Do This Alone
O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you:
I cannot do this alone.
In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me…
Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before me.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer
thanks for praying…